All Souls'

Monday was All Souls' Day. I went to weekday Mass early in the morning as I always do when I have class or gym session in the mornings, not consciously realizing it was All Souls' today.

When we were called to remember those who have gone before us during the Communion prayers, I recalled aunty Cecilia Chieng, a fellow choir member back at Carmelite Chapel Miri. She died of lung cancer though she wasn't a smoker. I think the car fragrance she put in her car had something to do with it - I remember it was a rose home fragrance which she used to refresh her dried roses above the air-cond vent.
She was a great friend. One might say she's a typical mom-sie person. She took care of the younger ones in the choir very well and often took Jane, Michele and I out to eat or for movies. I regret not being able to visit her during her last days, which was a tumultuous time for her. Her mom and sisters, according to cousin Angelique, didn't want to take care of her when she was dying - among the few factors, one was because of her being difficult. Anyone would, I guess, given the pain and frustration from suffering such malady.

The P1 W1max broadband connection sucks big, big time. We were promised at least 1Mbps of connection speed when we signed up the deal (we as in housemate Khor and I) but you know, big companies always have these fine prints hidden between their cracks - it's there, but you're not supposed to see them just yet. Clever asses.
I just heard a Streamyx ad on the radio. They blatantly used the "cut already or not" tagline to attack P1 W1max. I find that amusing, and at last somebody spoke up about it! I mean, "cut already or not"? That's just tacky. P1 W1max just isn't good enough to be using that fancy idea. It's a bad analogy, but it feels like Oprah Winfrey doing a cover of Mariah Carey's Obssessed, music video and all.

I find that I am a terible hoarder. I like to buy things with a good design/packaging concept. I have, still in possession, six Schwarzkopf hair products, along with four other hair dressing products of other brands, two St Ives' body lotion (not even half-used) and a The Body Shop Pomegranate body butter; at least seven home fragrance oils; seven bottles of perfume (at least). And I'd love to have a whole collection of Absolut if I had the money! Oh my...

Video of the day! Some hardcore Madonna fans made this fanvid to the music of Madonna's latest single, Celebration, with clips of the actual video. If I haven't seen the real video I wouldn't even know this was just a fanvid! Very well made!



*if you haven't already know, the girl in the wedding dress is Madonna's daughter, Lourdes ;)

Slackin'

I had a bad time management this whole day. Just last week I was sharing a thought with Alicia - someone said that one shouldn't manage his time, he should instead manage his life. My way of interpreting that saying is that one shouldn't be too caught up in managing the little things in life that he overlooks the more essential things in life, things that really matter. Look at life as a big glass jar. Put in big chunks of rock, and you can still fill the gaps in between with marbles, then saturate the space with sand. But if you reverse the order and fill the jar with sand first, you will not be able to put in the marbles and rocks.
The rocks are like family, friends, health and all the things that we cannot live without - take care of these first. And if there's extra space, fill in with other things like entertainment, hobbies, leisure, a good job etc. Something for all of us to think about.

Then again, it was entirely my own fault that I did less than what I could today. I did go to gym though, which is good. I only go because the fees have already been paid for and being Chinese... you know *shrugs*
Then I sent a friend to the LRT station so he could go back to Penang to see his terminally ill dad. I didn't know Aeroline coaches reach Penang, now I know. And it's RM55 a single trip, lunch included! Someday I might just take a leisurely ride down to Penang. After the darn diploma, I guess. I just want to get it over and done with so I can start packing for greener grass in a wonderful place called London. Oh and guess what, it's going to happen in less than a year! Whoo time flies...

Remember the Clinique freebies I got last week? I initially wanted to skip talking about it because I only got two products. But what the heck, let's do a mini product review!

The two sachets are the Derma White Lab Bright Fortifying Complex, in short, whitening serum. Used after the lotion and before moisturizer, it's supposed to help lighten dark spots and the whatnot. Not sure how that works for me just yet. Smells a little funny though, unlike many of Clinique's fragrance-free product that actually smell pretty pleasant.
Then the small tub is the Derma White Brightening Moisture Gel Cream. I loved this one! It's very lightweight and glides on skin very easily. I prefer this to the bestseller DDMG. Might consider getting the full-size after I finish the DDMG, provided that it isn't too expensive.

My Sunday afternoons from now till December will all be spent at KLPAC. That means speeding off to Sentul right after serving in Mass and having quick lunches in the car, often stealing mouthfuls at red lights. Oh and Wednesday evenings too! That would be worse. You have no idea (or you knew perfectly well) how jaw-dropping the traffic is between 6 to 8 PM.

Mr A has the funniest word play ever. Try this:
What do you call a female PEACOCK? Mr A had the most ingenious suggestion. PEACUNT.
And what do you call the reproductive organ of a PEACOCK? Guess a little harder!
Got it yet?
The answer makes perfect sense.
You probably didn't get this.
It's peanuts.

Just last week, Andrew, Leonard and I had the 'privilege' of shooting a Deepavali celebration in Damansara Damai. I called it the Damansara Damai International Airport for reasons only the insiders know. The MTD 10 seniors had a taste of how it feels like to be FFK-ed/fong-fei-kei/put aeroplane (colloquial Cantonese term for standing somebody up) by their own least-favorite lecturer. We weren't very happy about the shooting either.
First of all, we brought all too many things there. The sun-gun was NOT used. The heavy camera tripod was NOT used.
Secondly, the old man who asked us to be there earlier to set up the equipment arrived 90 minutes later than the event, which was 130 minutes later than we did. You do the math.
Thirdly, he didn't acknowledge our presence there and we felt no difference between the crowd and us. We even had to line up to get our food!
Talking about food: it was supposed to be a Deepa Raya party, on a Deepavali public holiday. And the three of us just can't get enough of the beef rendang and the beef satay. I wonder where all the mutton and chicken dishes went. Deepavali, hello? And I swear I didn't hear a single Indian song being played the whole time we were there - only the Raya hits. Even Sunway Pyramid has taken down their Raya decor, HELLOOO?
I've nothing against celebrating Hari Raya but they could have at least not call it Deepa Raya? It's so... Kanye -_-"

I was driving along the road to KLPAC on a Sunday when I saw a blatant display of homophobia right here in Malaysia!!!

Picking up the pace!

Once again I felt alive again! I was right when I concluded that work keeps me sane, especially during these few months when I will be having more commitments than ever.

To start with, there's Alicia's album which I absolutely need to finish by December. Alicia has been very kind to allow me to finish the production at my own pace. Been listening to the recording last Thursday, will start editing very soon, before I get flooded with more things to do. I'd most probably be using the magical Celemony Melodyne to tweak the tracks, though I told Alicia earlier that I won't be using any pitch-correction software to enhance the tracks. I guess I relented. But the truth is that Alicia sings beautifully and the recording didn't do much justice to her voice! I hope she doesn't mind me using Melodyne.

Then there is The Messiah for which I'll be spending all my Sunday afternoons and Wednesday evenings in KLPAC, and the rehearsals and practices that come with it. The preparation is certainly not easy, and is quite a costly pastime - two return trips to KLPAC from Subang, one of which falls on a weekday's peak hour, and renting the tux for the performances. Okay the tux was not confirmed yet, but my car obviously doesn't run on water! Oh well... I should count my blessings that I even got in the tenor part.

Assignments, of course. The pending ones are:
1) Post-pro - Mike's New Car
2) 24 Track - surround mix & mastering
3) Advanced 3D - Daniel's Apartment
4) Web Design
5) Video - PSA

Sighs. Where do I start?! That's why I shouldn't have procrastinated in the first place. Evil procrastination! EVILLLL!!!

Blog is active again!

I suddenly had a notion one day that a good writer writes no matter how busy he gets. So here I am. Again!

I remember talking to Gaby a few days ago about the impact of gender roles on our society. In a typical heterosexual world:
1) the guy buys his girl stuff; the girl helps her man choose his underwear (which he has to pay for himself)
2) the guy drives his girl around; the girl tells her man where to go for dinner (and where to shop)
3) the guy carries his girl's handbag during her tinkle time; the girl holds her man's wallet at the cashier line
4) girls can hold hands in public without looking odd; guys can't even hold pinkies
5) girls can call their female friends 'girlfriends'; guys can't call their male friends 'boyfriends'
6) if a girl wears men's clothes, she is just being comfortable; if a guy wears women's clothes, he is being sissy
7) girls get to wear makeup, and if she doesn't, she's going au naturel; guys can't wear any makeup, and if he does, he's going gay
8) girls can have sleepover parties and pillow talks; guys have booze parties and dirty jokes about women before passing out on the floor
9) a girl loses virginity when she gets penetrated; a guy technically loses nothing (except for some body fluids)
10) a girl gets a good shag, gets pregnant and goes through labor pain before taking home a baby - Value Meal
11) a guy gets a good shag, often climaxes before the girl does and takes home a baby - Happy Meal
12) the media exploits the female body by making slutty girls pose with sports car; where did all the hunks go?!?!

In a homosexual world, however:
1) boyfriends take turns to pay for meals
2) neither one looks stupid when one carries the other's bag
3) boyfriends can wear each other's clothes (and undies) if they fit
4) boyfriends can go to the bathroom together, and if the bathroom is packed, they can just share one cubicle
5) when the time is right, either one can pop the question
6) no monthly cramps, no tantrums
7) no worries about infertility - gay couples can adopt!
8) gay couples are truly versatile in bed - figure that one out yourself...

So there!

Check out this cute couple won't ya? Some well-intentioned stalker snapped these photos so the world get to see a sunny and healthy side of homosexual relationships. It's not all about sex you know...

Been long

I haven't been able to update my humble little blog recently due to a good few commitments, at church and in school. Guess I'm quite important after all!

Now I'm stealing some time from my packed schedule to blog. A friend warned me that if I don't start updating again I'll lose my readers. Much the opposite I guess, because I noticed a new name in my list of blog followers. The irony. Haha.

I was quite distraught when I read that Stephen Gately died in Spain yesterday during his vacation with husband Andrew Cowles. I rooted for the couple when they got married in 2006. Stephen was 30 then and I thought he was old enough to settle down already - now my regret is that he was too young to die. Sighs. I was never a huge fan of Stephen Gately but he was a significant figure in my growing up as a gay boy. There weren't many positive gay role models out there during my early days, but now kids are coming out earlier and earlier. It's fascinating.

I'm getting a new housemate! And it's going to be a girl this time. I'd prefer male housemates though, or lesbians - at least I won't feel awkward to walk around the house wrapped only in a towel. And when I run out of shorts to wear at home, I literally wear my cute Skinxwear boxer briefs, with or without a shirt on (that's my way of feeling sexay~ people...)

I guess that's all for now. Coming up next: photos of Daniel wearing his hand-painted shirts; freebies from Clinique; video of Daniel's virtual recording studio and a Christian fellowship in Malaysia that celebrates sexual diversity.
Pax Christi ;)

家峻的 tag

Got tagged by Jia Jun. Here goes:

#個 人 題 - 10 題

01) 你叫什么：吴汉图

02) 你的綽號：四年前是 Hantu

03) 你的血型：O+

04) 你的星座：奶瓶座

05) 你是男還是女：我是有‘咕咕叫’的 horr...

06) 你幾歲：22

07) 你住哪裡：Subang Jaya

08) 你現在的學校：SAE Institute

09) 你有沒有手機： -_-" 什么问题来的？？

10) Contact list有多少个人：鬼懂咩...

#朋 友 題 - 10 題

11) 你最要好的朋友（限1個）：文珊

12) 你最討厭的人（限1個）：我班那个讨厌的傻佬

#情 題 - 10 題

21) 你有沒有喜歡的人：大把啦...

24) 到目前為止，你跟多少人告白過： 2 个。都是直的。显 -_-"

25) 到目前為止，你被多少人告白過： 不曾有过... 几冤枉一下

26) 到目前為止，你交過多少個男/女朋友：答案如上，请别在伤口撒盐...

27) 現在有另一半嗎：还问？！

28) 你最好的同性朋友跟你告白你會怎樣： 问错人了。 但如果异性好友跟我告白我会蛮欣慰的（至少有人喜欢我嘛...）

29) 你初戀情人突然跟你告白你會接受嗎： 多少初？小学还是中学？想应该不会吧...

30) 你為什麼會喜歡你現在喜歡的人：咦... 暂时没有特别喜欢的人吔

31) 你和另一半牽手過嗎：再问就要打人了噢...

32) 你和另一半抱或親過嗎：噢，这个有，不过不是‘另一半’

33) 你跟異性牽手過嗎：有... 呱

34) 是誰，你們什麼關係？： 有嘛也是朋友罢了

35) 現在有人在追你嗎： *紧握拳头*

#混 合 題 - 10 題

36) 如果有天，好朋友離你而去，你會怎樣：日子照样过啦

37) 如果有天，好朋友背叛你，你會： 最多唱衰他。我很慈祥的...

38) 如果有天，好朋友對你喜新厭舊了，你會： 无动于衷。 走嘛走~我朋友多的是

39) 如果你很受不了你的父母，你會離家出走吗：不会啦，没有酱幼稚

40) 你上課認真嗎： 要看是谁在教，而且是什么课

41) 你功課好不好： 不错啦，过得去啦... SPM 拿 9 个A 罢了嘛

42) 你开电腦都在幹麻： 看戏，FB，check mail

43) 你的即时通有多少个同性：什么来的？我住马来西亚哩...

44) 你的即時通裡有多少個異性： -_-"

# 兇 手 題 - 10 題

45) 傳給你這份問卷的人是誰：家峻

46) 这個人對你好不好：好咯... 他在他blog 有 link 我哩~

47) 這個人是你的誰：网友

48) 你有喜歡過這個人吗？：觉得他有点可爱

49) 你們認識多久了： 唔知咧

50) 這個人是怎樣的人：应该蛮随和的

51) 这个人正/帥嗎：可爱咯

52) 這個人跟你有沒有在一起过： 都没有见过面

53) 萬一你喜歡這個人，你會怎麼办： 能怎样？耳朵切下来寄给他？拜托... 哪里有那么容易喜欢上人的？

# 聯 想 題 - 10

56) 說到正妹你會想到誰：又问错问题了

57) 說到帥哥你會想到誰：Daniel Craig！真他妈的帅！！！

58) 說到憨你會想到誰：阿旺

59) 說到痴你會想到誰：

60) 說到暗戀你會想到誰：

61) 說到出去玩你會想到誰： 通常没有出去玩的习惯

62) 說到聰明鬼你會想到誰： 不懂咧... 似乎没有

63) 說到傻子你會想到誰： 我班的那个

64) 說到笑點低你會想到誰： 我吧... 应该

65) 說到愛笑你會想到誰： Stacey

#學 校 題 - 11 題

66) 你的班導是誰：我就是班導

67) 你的座位是第幾排第幾個： 喂，人家上college 了吔~

68) 你最喜歡的老師是誰：Mr Siva

70) 你的英文好嗎：还算不错

71) 你的體育好嗎：最差就是体育

72) 你的数学好么：至少会算钱啦... 高数学了全还给老师了

73) 你喜不喜歡你的校長： 笨秃头... 你讲哩？

74) 你的學校好看嗎： 差到半死

75) 你的班級是： MTD 11

Cats and dogs

I like both, but would love to have a Schnauzer as a pet in the future. Or maybe two of them.

Anyway I'm referring to the rain that poured in the evening. It was heavy. Luscious drops of rain fell from the heavens as if the angels forgot to turn off the sprinklers and started to dance wildly in the downpour. I got back to the flat mildly damp, but my sandals were soaking wet by the time I reached my unit. Thank God that I wore the sandals and not my pretty Converse! I quite unusually wore the sandals this morning because I forgot to trim my toenails and I didn't want to drill a hole in my socks. That must have been a sign for me! =D

Few days ago a dear friend, Georgina, met us for the last time this year as she was about to depart for Glasgow the very next day to pursue her navel naval engineering course. We had our dinner at Asia Cafe, for Georgie to experience authentic Malaysian food before a long depravity of it (I'm pretty sure she would miss it badly)!

Backdated (but still fresh) pictures of Alicia, Constance, Drew and I during our album production (which is still in progress very slowly, unfortunately). If only I could temporarily leave Studio Budgeting presentation and Digital Video presentation and Mr Ismail's screenplays aside and work on the album! Then we shall get somewhere...

Found a beautiful heartbreak song a few weeks back and I thought I should share it with my adorable readers. Have you ever been hurt so badly by someone or some occasion that you wished you had an unbreakable heart? I know I have. Sighs. This video didn't do the original much justice. To view the original high-quality video, here's the YouTube link.

Oh my oh my oh my!!!!

Once again I was impressed by Canadian talent! Andrew Kesler is a Saskatoon-born jazz pianist who makes his own (highly entertaining and artistic) Youtube videos with the creative use of his grand piano, camcorders, Neumann microphones, Logic Pro with the audio interface and his beautiful, beautiful voice! Any media tech student would go crazy for what he has...

*AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!*

See what I mean? Good... And did I also mention that he's smoldering HOT?! My gosh! He's like a fine blend of Brian Culbertson, Shayne Ward and Jesse McCartney wrapped in diamond-studded velvet served on a silver platter. You'll just have to watch his videos. Period.

What you want, woman?

Here's a little something something for the women out there who can't seem to make up their minds! Not sure if it applies to gay men though... But having a dickie sure beats monthly cramps! *giggles*

*click on image for a legible version that opens in another window

No more Berklee... and the other interesting stuff

I'm no longer going for Berklee, because I don't have USD $112,000 to start with, and that amount doesn't include living costs.

Mr Sia suggested Canadian education, which is often equally competitive at a more affordable price yet has a better study environment (and more gay friendly too). That totally opened up a new horizon for me. Why didn't I even think of Canada in the first place?

I'm currently experiencing some kind of mental crisis. I don't know what I really want to do after my diploma at SAE. I was so hopeful about studying at Berklee until I read about the fees. As much as I want to dream big, I gotta be realistic with my goals. Berklee isn't so much of a big deal anyway, I can try other Canadian universities. But how is my mom going to fund my studies? I'm not so young anymore and I'll be a terrible son if I continue to live off my mom's pocket like that. And that reminds me I need a job very soon.

I'm looking at a few universities and it seems that the more I read the more I become discouraged about furthering my studies in performing arts. The options are plenty but the money is tight. Haven't talked to mom yet. Not until I sort out this mess in my head. I really want to be a performer. I really want to spend a lot of time practicing and rehearsing. My best years in life so far were spent like that so I think that's something I can really do. But my fear is that this might be another illusion or a way for me to escape from what I find difficult about the technical side of entertainment.

I have a feeling that I might just get tired of this shit and go ahead with my plans of studying in Middlesex, taking a degree in Film and Interactive Video. Or just put further studies on hold and get a job first. I wonder if Astro will hire me *thinks*

Finally finished recording Alicia's part! Now I'll really have to get down and dirty to edit and mix the tracks. Biggest challenge would be the contemporary pieces. Have yet to layer the instrument tracks. Double challenge! But I'm focusing on the final outcome. I know I can do this, and it'll be a great time to fail, learn and improve. Good things don't come easy they say, and I believe it's true.

The only thing that's keeping me sane right now is work. Ironically.

When we were recording Alicia, the workers in the adjacent shop lot were drilling the walls and making a lot of noise. So I went down and ask if they could pause the work until 2 PM because a recording session was going on. They thought I said a "meeting" was going on so they said they'll stop drilling till 2 PM.

Taukeh: "You people open on Saturday also meh?"
Taugeh: "Ermm... Yeah we do! (playing along)"
Tk: "Oh like that ahh.. What time your meeting finish?"
Tg: "About 2 PM worr tauke."
Tk: "Oh then when are you starting?"
Tg: "Actually we have already started, that's why our boss asked me to come and speak to you!"
Tk: "Oh like that~ Oklah we stop drilling until 2 PM lah!"
Tg: "Thanks ya taukeh!"

Then they started drilling an hour earlier and we were almost finishing. Alicia was very clever and offered to speak to the Taukeh again. Perfection! So we went down together and charmed the Taukeh with Alicia's surreal beauty. They obliged and we recorded the rest of the takes very successfully. The end. La la la la~~~

Pictures will be up very soon I promise. The Internet at night is horrible, terrible and vegetable.

Swirling black lilies totally ripe

I kept breaking records in Selangor. I went to a party last night at Pang's place and came home around 2.30 AM.

I had great fun! I felt a little awkward at first (as always), but as the night went on I found a few people to chat with and after two shots of vodka I found an excuse to allow myself to be silly. Disc jockey of the night was playing songs on his iPod and I almost immediately jumped up to get into action when I heard Whitney Houston's "I'm Every Woman". And I danced for 90 minutes straight, swinging from song to song. It was quite enjoyable when Jerome Kugan, the oddly sexy cute-culo sweetie, played songs that I know - mostly the outdated stuff, which was good because I'm a sucker for older stuff (that explains my taste in men, too).

The table was flooded with food and dominated by Italian stuff like pasta and lasagna. What's about Italian food that people like to bring it to parties? I guess it's just convenient to eat, smells pleasant and makes a large dish at a relatively low cost. Imagine eating fried chicken drumstick while schmoozing around in a party, or ikan bakar sambal, or sucking spicy conch off the shell. Viva Italia!

That reminds me that I'll need to get hold of a Bjork album. I've a renewed appreciation for this erratic woman's music.

I was eating this fruit not so long ago and it struck me that I've never seen the real fruit. Intrigued, I went home and searched it up Wikipedia.
Try to guess what "fruit" this is...

reminds me of: Tyra Banks

And here's the male fruit tree with the inflorescence, the "stem" that bears the pollen (or something like that)

something about this image makes me blush...


Figured it out yet?

It's sea coconut. Try to remember how the raw fruit looks like next time you eat your "sea coconut and longan tong sui".


*both image files used in this entry were retrieved from Wikipedia on Aug 28, 2009.

Not so sure anymore. Is this normal?

The Daniel that was so confident yesterday fell short of courage today. It's like you are fated to stumble upon pits and shits when you're working hard for something. I never worked hard enough for anything in my life.

Have been working at the piano again, inspiration pouring in bit by bit every time I touch the lovely instrument. If only everything in this world is black and white, so I won't have to tear myself apart doubting and listening to people saying things.

Voice was not at its optimum today. I guess I might be too scared to see Mark David when the time comes. It's funny, because I'll always have the kindness to pardon myself when I bail out on something I must face. I love myself too much to allow my feelings be hurt. I told Andrew that I wanted to go to Berklee, he told me to "dream on". I asked why, he said he just wanted to discourage me. At some point in my life I gladly received this kind of discouragement to console myself: "it's alright Daniel, maybe it's not for you. You might be disappointed in the end when you find that it's not the right choice for you. Choose what's easier - be wise!"

I wonder if my readers read every word up till this point, or do they simply scan through the block of words to find something interesting to read...

So yeah, I'm balancing on thin wire again, the pole in my hands becoming shorter, and lighter. Can this be a stage of disillusionment? Will I see the real end of the tunnel? Kind words can be well-intentioned, but deceiving in the ears that hear it.

I can have a thousand things I don't like about myself. My timidness could be the all-time chart topper, who knows =.="

Here's "Mona Lisa". If you have something to say, please be brutally honest. I only want to enter Berklee if I really have what it takes. I don't need another glass of honey-lined arsenic to make myself believe what's not there. I love you all, just don't pity me.

Am I seeing light at the other end?

I guess it's like a sign or something. Mr Siva's talk about dreams and aspirations, Lim Goh Tong's never-too-late success story, Jane's sharing on her sudden career change, my brother's decision to take culinary arts after his four-year medical studies, Krishna's enrollment into Berklee, Mr A's encouragement - all happened within a week.

When Mr Siva asked us where we see ourselves in ten years' time, the first image that appeared in my head was me performing on a stage with a lot of spotlights on me. Then I consciously changed the thought to fit into my field of study right now, which is film. Sure it looks cool to be a cameraman for some production, or directing a film, or working in a recording studio etc. It pays better too, I suppose. Yes, I can do all that, but the passion is what will keep me fired up through my career. So what am I most passionate about? They say two things decide where you will be in ten years to come: the book you read, and the friends you make. Let's analyze this:

1) What kinds of books do I read? Frankly, I don't read much. I'm too distracted by the variety of books in my collection and I just can't seem to focus on finishing one at a time. So justly put, the "book" I read the most is, well, song sheets. I'm an organist and keyboardist for my parish for goodness' sake! That's what I do! (Mr A, I know what you're thinking, but it's real electronic organ, the musical instrument organ...)

2) What kind of people do I befriend? Apart from the church mates, my schoolmates. Does it show anything? Not really I think. I'm not the holy-moly type nor a hardcore audio engineer. I just happen to have a would-be classical album collaboration with Alicia the beautiful soprano to go into my portfolio.

Conclusion? Let's not go there yet. We'll take a fast-forward journey through my early life as the "special" kid that I have been. I guess the "uniqueness" is partly attributed to my "special" sexual preference. Ahem...

1) I was the clarinet section leader of the marching band in my secondary school when I was in Form Two, vice-president in Form Three (that's about 16) and the president the year after that

2) I arranged the music for the band, during the days when buying music scores was considered a wasteful investment

3) I played the main character in two children's musicals, an improvised Hansel & Gretel as the Witch, and in an improvised Christmas Carol as Ebenezzer Scrooge

4) I have been singing and playing the organ and keyboard in church since 2001, non-stop - Carmelite Chapel in Miri and St Thomas More parish in Subang Jaya

5) I am currently serving in Lifeline STM as assistant leader in the music ministry

6) I've released several syok-sendiri videos on my Facebook page

Sounds like a thick-faced resume. But whatever, I gotta make you convinced that I can make myself at home in Berklee... :P

I talked to Anne shortly before evening Mass just now. She had a good point when she suggested that I talked to someone in the industry and sing for them and allow myself to be evaluated truthfully by people who actually know things about the local music industry (if I want to develop my career here). Anyone knows anybody who could help? Should I post an audition video on Youtube to be rated (and taunted)? Hmm... *thinks*

Seriously though, what's the one thing that describes me best?

---

Anyway... Here's a little touching story of why best friends shouldn't hug each other. Enjoy!

Day of school

Arjun Singh and Pargat Singh are very close friends. The whole school talked about their friendship. They had been friends right from their kindergarten days. They have studied together, roamed around together, sat together in school, ate together. They both wanted to become Police officials and serve the country.But today was a day they always dreaded. It was their last day together.

On their way back from school Arjun started talking:

Arjun : Bro! I am moving to a different city to study. I will miss you man!
Pargat: I will miss you too mate. But nothing can break our friendship. We will at least meet once every year.
Arjun: Yes that is a deal.

and they parted with tears in their eyes...
As time went by, both got busy with their work life. They kept their promise for two years and after that they moved on with their own lives and in the process Arjun lost his contact with Pargat. Time went by and both became Police Officers.


Year: 2009
Venue: The Police station where Arjun works

Tring... Tring...

Arjun picks up the call and he gets a pleasant surprise...

"Is this Arjun?"
"Yes. Who is on the line?"
" Bro, Its Pargat! I just found out that you are posted in this station!"

Tear drops welled up Arjun's eyes.

Arjun: Where are you?
Pargat: I am standing outside the police station. Come out!
Arjun: Is it? I am coming right away!

Arjun rushed out of the police station and saw Pargat standing outside. They were seeing each other for the first time after thirty years. He wanted to go and hug his friend. But he could not hug his friend. It was a very touching moment for both of them...





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Italian boys... Ohh!!!

You shall see why the title is such as you read on.

I had a heck of a good time at UCSI last night! Alicia got two invitations to the Pro Musica Concert from Joelle, a mutual friend and she asked me to go with her. It was incredible! I drove to UCSI for the first time and I didn't make one single wrong turn! Praise God!
The singers were made up of four international singers: Madeira (mezzo soprano) from Portugal; Casari (tenor) from Italy; Ashwin (baritone) from the UK and Conzen (soprano) from Belgium together with the students of UCSI. All of them sang really well that night, including the student performers - surprisingly! I didn't expect much from the students but they really blew me away with their vocal prowess.

My most memorable part of the concert was none other than the beautiful Italian tenor! His name is Enrico Casari. Enrico! What a sexy name for a beautiful person that he is. I'm beginning to think Italians are all musical people. His voice was high but gentle and smooth. I was very impressed by his ability to control his attack and release of his voice, especially at the high notes. There were a few scenes where one of the sopranos had the privilege of holding Enrico's arm and caressing his face. I was like, "you lucky woman!!!"

Oh well... My only memory would be the photos I took with them. And I was not in my best look that evening! Sighs...

*badass Steinway Model D concert grand piano UCSI newly acquired	*beautiful Madeira and the student singers
*the big finale	*the Sutra Dancers dancing to a Ravel number (with a dash of homoeroticism)
*gorgeous Enrico!	*Enrico! Marry me, do!!!
*feels like under the ocean...	*with Sabine Conzen
*with Ines Madeira	*I'm sandwiched between two hunks! Andrew Ashwin and Enrico Casari

I get so turned on by balding Italian guys who can sing right now.... *bubbly*

Really? Oh praise God!

The Barre Cornerstone event was a blast! We had so much fun singing and dancing. My personal favorite was Patrick and Hazel's open mic session. They're such natural performers! The microphone is truly their best friend.

I received quite a bit of praises from close friends for my performance. It was not very well planned, but it turned out well - I did I Wish You Love because I was so familiar with the song after playing for Alicia so many times. And the tune is so captivating, why waste? And I'm glad they liked it. At first I thought the compliments were given out of encouragement. But as I thought about it, it really shouldn't be about me. If my talents invoke others' appreciation, I should be glad that I've been a vessel of God's glory. He gave me all that, and rightly He deserves the praises. If I deny them, I'm refusing to give glory to God. So instead of being paiseh, I embrace all these positive remarks and say, "praise God!!!"

What an awesome day! Apart from the adrenaline-charged Barre Cornerstone (ironically, it was supposed to be an evening of cool music for chilling out) I also met with Alicia at her place to rehearse our songs.
Oh I was right when I say her voice is beautiful! I'm slowly discovering the kind of music that suits her voice. How should I describe her voice? It's almost nocturnal - it feels like a moonlit autumn night. When the range is right you could hear her voice crooning you to dreamland. When she closes her eyes and gets into the mood of the song, you naturally let your head sway to her soothing call; when she opens her arms and assumes the posture of a songbird, the hair behind your head stand up and you must take a deep breath to get back to Earth. I'm serious. It's that good. Not many people get the chance to listen to her singing at the piano under dim lights. I'm happy to be one of them!

We were just having a casual chat over lunch when she told me that we are on a similar "wavelength". I find it true myself. We seem to talk about so many things, considering the fact that we haven't known each other for more than a year. There were no real inhibitions when we talk though we still had some formalities going on in our interaction, but that is fine. She is trying to make me feel at home with my sexuality through casual conversations about gender issues and occasionally asking me about my taste in guys. I find that very comforting - the fact that people try to understand you instead of condemning. She shared about her personal life with me as well and I appreciate her honesty. It was a great conversation that afternoon, Alicia :D

Look what I found in the living room cabinet when I was back in Miri...

Bega Super Slices... yumm....

I'm in love with Bega Super Slices cheddar cheese. Will try the Super Slims once I finish the current stock =D

I found a book on teach-yourself vocal method book. It comes with a method book, 4 audio CD's (each on different topics) and an instructional DVD. I almost wanted to buy it until I saw the price: RM300. Like, my gosh! That's freakin' expensive!!!

But I can see how its worth that price. The book covers a lot of important methods to improve vocal strength and discovering the special voice in every reader. The author is a vocal coach I think, who holds degrees from the prestigious Juilliard School of arts. Her name is Elizabeth Howard - I guess I'll be remembering that name.

Buy? Not to buy? sah pak koh jee bun woh! jin gui leh! That's why my mom always believes that education is the biggest gift one can give to his/her children. I didn't regret those teary nights in front of our old Yamaha upright piano (which my dad failed to see how important it was when my mom insisted that we got one) playing tunes from "Alfred's piano method" or something like that, those purple-covered books, A Tune A Day, the Hanon drills, the exam pieces... Ahh, how far I've come to be who I am today!

Still... Buy? Not? *dilemma*

I've been immersing myself in a lot of musical works recently, from arranging for Alicia's contemporary pieces to shopping for potential recordable music at MPH (going for another round at Kinokuniya one of these days), it felt like old times again. Just a wild thought: that I might just finish my diploma here at SAE and move on to musical composition... at Berklee! Ahh... wishful thinking. I mean, Berklee? Hellooo~~~!
But didn't they say anything is possible? I prefer to look at things positively. At least dreaming about a career of sitting in front of a grand piano writing music could keep my mind off the vanities that only heiresses can think about.

Speaking of grand piano... I've a boy toy that I'd like to get when I make enough money. Somewhere between my would-be marriage and adopting kids, there in my living room (of my apartment or better still, house) will stand a mahogany finish Steinway Model O. Such beauty that money can buy, yet radiating such magnetic attraction that seems to bestow a sense of empowerment to those who come into possession of it. I think about laying my hands on it, caressing it; striking it with my fingers, hard and soft, passionately, gently, quickly, slowly; enveloping myself in the beautiful moaning it makes with every movement of my fingers, letting myself go in orgasmic delight! Aah! Oah! Wheeeeeeee!

Yes I will marry one day and settle down with not less than one child. The Good Book says celibacy is not for everyone!

My feet ache... And I feel kinda sick

Back to reality. Gotta move my ass to find food now (and pay for them myself). Aaahhhh!!!!

To relieve my homesickness I took the best remedy ever: a whole day out at Midvalley Megamall and Pavilion KL. I initially wanted to buy Clinique's Superfit foundation and the Take The Day Off cleansing oil. I was outside the standalone shop in Pavilion for some time while weighing the two options - to buy or not to buy. In the end... I didn't! Oh I'm a good boy now... I'd rather save up the money for song sheets and vocal tutorial books!

I'm tired. Partly because of the walking and another part because of the Screwdriver I had with dinner. It was like one part Absolut and one part orange juice. Darn I'm dizzy now... But it'll wear off soon enough. People who blush quickly after ingesting alcoholic drinks are said to have better liver functions. I wonder how true that is.

I was just telling Mr A that I've internalized homophobia. It's one big irony but it happens to a lot of gay man in real life. For me, it is the disapproval of trannies and pretty gay boys. Maybe the second one is just my own insecurities. I'm not the sexy everybody-wants-to-sleep-with-you type of cutie, neither do I have an impressive "instrument". No one checked me out at the Seksualiti Merdeka events! Actually, event. I only went for the Rainbow Massacre concert. But why!!!

Alright fine I told myself not to be vain. But you know... I feel so insecure -_-
The best thing to do now is to stop trying and let it be.

I hate walking behind people who are not conscious of the fact that there are important people with important things to do in life. That's one of the things I can't stand apart from inconsiderate smokers and impatient drivers. A kid nearly bumped into my crotch while I was trying to overtake a bunch of Hongkees talking and reading about what's interesting to explore In Kuala Lumpur.


Or will you still wait for me, Dreamgiver? Just around the riverbend...
Such haunting line. It gets to me all the time.

Miri hideaway... Not! (Day 13 & 14)

We went to Annie's Little Kitchen for dinner. I had the roasted chicken with mashed potato. The lady at the restaurant was a total "see lai". I can't stand the way she speaks! My gosh... Should have had her on video. I only liked the mashed potato out of all the stuff I had.

Cousin Ping was at home in the morning. She quite recently jumped ship to RHB Bank after serving many good years at Public Bank. We chatted about the current economical situation (actually more like gossiping about the bad stuff). Our PM has just loaned 40-something billion dollars from China to aid our country's financial challenges, and to kiss China's you-know-where our PM opened to plans of having a campus for a Beijing institution. Not sure about the details but our country is in deep s***! China just happens to be the country with the most national reserve right now, so who's kidding who?! And a Beijing institution to open a branch here in Penang? Let's hear it from our beloved Education Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein:

“This will be the first international school in Malaysia with a foundation in China. I am impressed with the Beijing school as well as the university which the school falls under,” he said after opening the Gombak Umno Youth divisional meeting here yesterday. (The Star, 2007)

Riiight... Whatever happened to the keris? I cant remember... =.="
And note that this was two years ago. Anything got done yet? Does anyone know?

---

I'm tired!!! Just got back to Selangor. Mom dropped me at the Miri airport this morning and quickly rushed down town for her church service. So I basically checked in alone, waited for boarding alone - and after reaching LCC-T, took the Skybus alone, ate lunch at KL Sentral alone, took the KTM to Setia Jaya alone, walked in the rain alone (it rained just as the train reached Setia Jaya station), got my car keys from Lance alone, drove back to the flat alone etc etc.

ALONE!!! Sad nyerr.... But to look at it with a half-full attitude, I still have the stamina to walk and carry things.

Took a quick shower and left for SFX to attend evening Mass. My eyes were already very warm when I was in church, a sign that I might get sick very soon. Thank God for May's GPS, I was able to locate The Annexe Gallery at Central Market (nonetheless went lost somewhere on the way, twice). Got there early, met Hazri (Pang's cutie pie boyfriend) and got my tickets for The Rainbow Massacre concert.

THE RAINBOW MASSACRE

One thing that's been on my mind the whole evening was awkwardness. AWKWARD!!! I'm a proudly out gay Christian man, but to mingle around other gay men seemed too intimidating. They and their own little cliques. I feel like an outsider waiting for another fellow outcast to talk to. Hazri was a good sport but he too was occupied by the other pretty gay uncles at the ticket counter.
Then there was the donation collector guy who looked pretty friendly, and the PT Foundation guy who counseled me when I went to their office for the blood test. My usual talkative self was strangely missing. I was desperate to the point of calling Alicia to see if she was coming to the event! She encouraged me to mingle around but my own insecurities were too much for me to handle alone. I ended up standing at the corner where the air-conditioner blew my sweat dry.

The performances were awesome!!! Mia Palencia sang a couple of songs. SHE. IS. GOOD. Period!
Edwin Sumun AKA Sheila was downright witty. He can crack the funniest (and probably crudest) of gay jokes!
Joanne Kam the bodacious Penangite comedian/actress made me laugh my intestines out!
Nish the keyboardist is probably a butch. She's got a cute boyish face, so cute I could have kissed her. And what's better, she plays great jazz piano!
The a capella group didn't do too well though. The bass guy can sing, but his chest-beating thingy was quite annoying, and all of them had an unmistakable Cina accent. Diction, sweetheart, diction!!!


Oh well... Finally back at the flat. It was a great day but I need some serious rest for now... Looking forward to seeing Alicia tomorrow night! :D

A little something something for you pet lovers out there...

Miri hideaway... Not! (Day 11 & 12)

Day eleven! Watched a movie called Amnesia: The James Brighton Enigma. James Brighton is a Brit who hitchhiked with Matthew Honeycutt and they somehow they slept together and fell in love. While on the way to a big gay party in Montreal, they pick up three homophobic thugs whose car broke down in the middle of the road to Montreal who, in the end, kill the out and proud James Brighton, with the participation of Matthew Honeycutt who is too afraid to admit his own homosexuality.

Moral of the story: never pick up strangers on the road nor be too kind. I've had my share of the lesson a good few months ago... =.="

Fr Gabriel is sick and I went to visit him at the Father's House. He won't tell me what terminal illness he's got but I'll find out soon enough. He looked pretty healthy though.

Grandma has been very difficult. She's 94 this year and her behavior is turning into a five-year-old's. She's beginning to have a lot of cravings - she'll ask my mom to buy rojak to eat after dinner, she'll look forward to warm breakfasts and no meal can go without some chili paste. She says her tongue is numb now and she couldn't taste anything if not for the chili paste. But the chili paste is giving her the skin itch! And once she complained to my mom that the medicine she's taking was causing the itch, which leads to another problem because the doctor already told my mom that the regimen can't possibly cause the itch because... It simply doesn't.

Good thing I didn't have to take care of grandma. I can see what a chore it's like to be looking after a bitter old woman who complains everyday. Sheesh I'm an ungrateful brat! But seriously, I salute my mom for going through all that...

Day twelve. I watched two movies in a row!!! Jo caught me procrastinating apparently. The heat still enshrouds Miri in a warm cocoon of fine ashes and humid air. Need to pack soon.

Feast of the Assumption tomorrow! Gotta wake up early for Mass so I better sleep early tonight. It's a Holy Day of Obligation: good little Catholic boys and girls, make sure you attend Mass!!! :D

Miri hideaway... Not! (Day 10)

Tenth day! And I'm dying from procrastination. Gotta fight the addiction. Numb.

If this continues I'll have to see a psychiatrist. How can I get any work done if I can't stop watching movies and creating highly logical excuses for not working on the things I had to! This is a vicious cycle and I'm tired of it.

I learned a few things today (and a few days before this):

1) Mommy cats eat their own placenta and lick their slimy newborn clean the moment they give birth
2) Schwartzberg is a Jewish family name
3) To be a real Jew one has to inherit the Jewish blood line from the mother
4) Kevin Zegers is hot... and straight =.="
5) To listen to a passage anywhere other than the first measure in Finale, simply hold the space-bar and click on the measure you want to listen from
6) I can still go for the Rainbow Massacre concert on Sunday night, the last item of the Seksualiti Merdeka events
7) Xtube accounts can be canceled for good

Let's see what happens tomorrow... =.="